As a typical internet junkie, I’m no stranger to nights spent aimlessly scrolling and possessing eyes incapable of sleep. I’m most comfortable in a Quazimodo arch position with my tea in close range, debating how long I can hold my bladder until it ultimately breaks.

I’m the run-of-the-mill Netflix binging, track-pant sporting, greasy-haired mongrel that you’d expect to pay a toll to if you were attempting to cross the bridge. But amongst the crumbs and clutter, I’m a decent human being with a solid background in Pokemon training and character stat-boosting across various consoles that will be broadcasted on Twitch. My creativity is channelled into various mediums that including baking calorie-infused treats, voice acting for podcasts, YouTube videos and cosplay of course!

I’m accustomed to Insta and I’ve flirted with Facebook, but I feel my audience in both instances are limited to posts I deem safe and portraits of me looking fabulous. Not that I’m complaining, but I know I’m capable of more than that. My voice is restricted to tiny captions that no one pays attention to because they don’t want to waste their time reading recycled statements and overused emojis. I get it… and I am 100% guilty of the emoji thing, but hear me out. Sometimes keeping your mouth shut is the road best travelled, but sometimes it’s not.

I’d rather be known for the intensity of my voice than for the beauty in my silence. 

I’m much more than just a hat rack, and the same goes for you!

So if you’re looking for the next big cyber sensation with the perfect life and body: go somewhere else, you’re obviously lost. But luckily so am I, so why don’t we go together?

Just let me finish this episode.

-E